The Nearness Of You
by daritah
Summary: Post ep for 213 - Mr. & Mrs. Mxyzptlk And as they kiss, the most tender of kisses they've shared, the words I'm in love with you almost leave Alex's mouth but her mind is there to tone it down; Sanvers.


**Author's Note:** This is a post ep for _213_ _-_ ** _Mr. & Mrs. Mxyzptlk_**and it's not betaed. If anyone wants to be a beta I would greatly appreciate it!

 _When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me_

 _All my wildest dreams came true_

 _I need no soft lights to enchant me_

 _If you would only grant me the right_

 _To hold you ever so tight_

 _And to feel in the night_

 _The nearness of you_

 _\- The Nearness of you, Norah Jones_

As they dance, Alex can't keep the smile off her face.

Sure, she spent a whole lot of time pretending she didn't care about Valentine's Day and how the happy couples didn't bother her, and to some extent that was actually true. It wasn't like she was crying alone in her apartment dying to be in a relationship that never was. But the thing is, everyone wants someone to care about you, to want to spend time with you.

She'd never envisioned her perfect relationship, but right now, in Maggie's arms, she thought it could never be more perfect than this.

"You are the perfect girlfriend, you know?"

"Actually, I do."

Alex was caught between a laugh and a frown with her answer, "You know, now's the time when you say the same about me."

"Oh, so that's how it is, then?"

"Uh hum," she smiles and slightly purses her lips, silently asking for a kiss.

"I don't know about perfect, Danvers" and Maggie can see the exact moment her face falls a little and how quickly she is to blind her reaction, "but, for what it's worth, you're my perfect."

And as they kiss, the most tender of kisses they've shared, the words _I'm in love with you_ almost leave Alex's mouth but her mind is there to tone it down; to tell her heart that it's not the time yet, even though she cannot think of anything feeling this right in her entire life.

"That was really really nice. "Alex said as Maggie closed the door behind her.

She was feeling slightly buzzes, which was crazy since they are used to drinking way heavier stuff than champagne, but she was thinking her state of giddynness was more about the beautiful woman in front of her and the amazing night she had just been given, than the drink itself.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it, Danvers."They share a very brief kiss, very chaste kiss. "You deserve it."

"You deserve it too, you know?"

"Tonight was about you, and I'm more than okay with that."

She sees Maggie's smile, but she doesn't feel it. Every since they got in the cab she felt her girlfriend slipping away from her and she couldn't understand why.

They had a lovely night. That was no question. They danced, drank, ate. They even fooled around a little. It was a really amazing evening, one she wasn't sure she'd ever get a few weeks ago after Maggie shot her down.

And she was so grateful for the effort Maggie had put into it all, and even if she had explained a bit what it meant to her, she could still feel that all wasn't right with her.

"I can't even imagine how that must've been for you."

A second after the words were out of her mouth she knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"I don't want your pity, Alex."

And then Maggie was walking towards her purse and Alex's heart was in her throat at the thought of her leaving.

"Wait, wait. That's not what I meant. I swear. Please."

They're standing in front of each other, Alex is pleading with her eyes and so, after a beat, Maggie relents her purse to Alex's hands and lets her lead them to the bed.

"I wouldn't just leave, you know?"

"Yeah, right. We're both a little on edge when it's anything close to personal," Maggie gives a snort, "well, closer to our fears, at least?"

Maggie sits at the foot of the bed and smiles.

"Okay then. Explain. What did you mean?" And she pats the place next to her so Alex can sit too.

"Right. I need to find the right words for this so, just, give me a second." She takes her shoes off and throws them across the apartment in an attempt to elicit a laugh from her girlfriend and goes to unzip her dress when said girlfriend clears her throat. "What?"

"We're never gonna finish this conversation if you're half naked in front of me right now."

And then it's her time to laugh and she feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Humor is good because it shows her that Maggie is okay after all, more okay than she thought at first.

"Yeah, you're right. You wouldn't be able to control yourself."

"Get over yourself, Danvers." She pulls Alex with her and they lay on the bed looking at each other, "C'mon, serious talk first, sex later."

Alex scoots closer as her right hand reaches for a pillow. They get comfortable sharing very little space, their breaths mingling, and when Maggie smiles it makes her heart soar.

"Okay… What I meant was that, after you told me how it was for you, I couldn't shake off the image from my head."

"What image?"

"Of a young Maggie Sawyer in love with her best friend," Maggie closes her eyes and Alex tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and leaves her hand there, caressing the face of the woman she feels so much for, "a young Maggie Sawyer totally terrified of going back to school after it all happened. And how that whole experience shaped your life and your relationships since. I was trying to understand how I got so lucky. How finding you has sent me on this path full of light and… I know I shouldn't. It's not my place but, I'm so proud of who you are, babe."

"Shit, you're not allowed to make me cry."

Alex laughs and sees the distraction for what it is. Nobody was every proud of Maggie when she needed the most, when she was a young girl, vulnerable and confused and afraid. Nobody saw how hard it was for her; and then for her to try and make it better for Alex, knowing how hard it was most times? How could someone not be proud of her? Of what she made for and of herself?

"You're an amazing woman, Maggie Sawyer. And you deserve all the love in the world."

And then she kisses her. The sweetest kiss they've ever shared because Alex is not sure if she's ready to use the L word yet – and she's definitely not sure if Maggie is ready to hear it too, let alone say it back – but she wants to make it clear that, to her, that's where they're headed.

"Do you wanna know why I did this?" She whispers and Alex nods, "I don't consider myself to be a bitter person. I think I'm actually very laid back for most things." Alex snorts, "Watch it."

"Sorry, go on."

"But this was always a sore subject for me, for more than obvious reasons. And when I told you how it happened, when I got home… it felt like I was about twenty pounds lighter. And then I started to think about all the reasons why I hate this day and, even though I still stand by for most of the things I said before, what kept coming back to me was 'wouldn't it be nice to have a romantic evening with the most beautiful woman I know?' and, even though it started out as something for you, it became about me too, about me finally letting go of the hurt of that little girl." Alex smiles and reaches to kiss her again. "Also, again, I'm sorry for lying to you."

"So not important right now, babe."

"No, no. It is important because, I really want this to work and we can't do that by lying to each other about important stuff, okay?"

Alex schools her features to her most serious face, "So, for the sake of this relationship, I forgive you, Maggie." Their kiss lingers a little more than the other so Alex is pretty sure the serious talk time is over.

"And now, for my favorite part of the evening..." Maggie's hands span Alex's back as she searches for the dress' zipper while Alex laughs. "Oh, I see how it is."

Maggie straddles her waist, her mouth so very close to hers and yet, it feels like they're miles apart, "You have no idea of what I'm about to do to you, Danvers." She whispers and Alex is already so far gone that she can't find the words to keep their banter going, she just closes her eyes and waits for the contact of Maggie's lips on hers but, when that doesn't happen, she opens them again.

"I'm falling really hard for you, Alex."

Maggie's face is serious but her eyes are smiling at Alex and, at that moment, Alex has no questions, no doubts.

"I'm already there, Maggie."


End file.
